No shit.

So as the title says, this post is about no shit. Nope just kidding, I'm just really bored now because I have nothing to do, but I'm not tired enough to go to bed and I don't wanna go bother other people ya know because I'm considerate just like that~

Nothing much has been going on lately, except that I have started working a few days back and school has started too. I guess it's a good thing that I'm studying and working at the same time, so that I won't have excess free time to be bored and feel lonely cause Z's working too. So far our luck has been really bad with our schedule clashing and all. But I always tell myself, it's for the better, it's for the kaching! And we're gonna spend the rest of our lives together so let's not get all picky on short hours. But as an overly attached girlfriend, sometimes I really miss him and stuff so yeah lor. Good distraction that comes with money. ;)

School has been okay too, this semester like a lot of lessons need to bring laptop ah! Not sure if we're really trying to go green or the lecturers are just being lazy. Not really keen for internship to come though, long hours plus poor pay. Or should I say transport fee? But with Z enlisting and all, it's again a wonderful distraction huh. When I was younger, I never imagined myself needing to go through NS with my boyfriend because I assumed I wouldn't have one, but now that everything is approaching so quickly, I can't help but feel grown up! Yay! Because it just means that I'm one step closer to England and poverty free! T.T

I wish my passport would be renewed like right now. Can't wait for June to come, but I don't want June to come either. Let's set aside June's feelings for June.

I'm going to sleep now, and hoping for better dreams. :)

Grateful heart.

Tonight I give thanks.

I'm thankful for my friends, to those who have left, and to those who had the patience to stick around somemore. Thank you for being there to share my experience, to catch my tears, tolerating all my nonsense, and making my life so colourful and happy.

I'm thankful for my boyfriend, who became my priority in life, who gave me a priority in life. Although it might have been a little too much for him, still I'm thankful. I thank him for all the times where he has to put up with my bad temper, and for telling me the truth all the time when most boyfriends would pick and select.

I'm thankful for my family, for caring for me, for scolding me when they are in a bad mood, and for allowing me to do crazy things once in a while. I thank them for moulding me into who I am. Although not perfect, but not an utter bitch at least.

I'm thankful for my country, for being so safe and peaceful. I'm thankful that this country is so strict, giving us freedom. After all, what is freedom without rules?

I'm thankful for all the strangers that smiled at me when we make eye contact, and the ones that reciprocate when I smile at them. They make my day so much better. I'm thankful for those who held a straight face or didn't respond because it allowed me to realise that there are people whose burdens are so heavy they can't smile.

Tonight, I'm just thankful to be alive and loved.

第四百零一天。

So that day me and Z were talking casually about random stuff when we realized that it will be exactly 400 days on 06/03/2013 since we were together. Well actually Z thought it was 07 so below is a screenshot of a website I used to calculate the days. Not that we celebrate every 100 200 300 and 400 days, it was pure randomness okay. Don't judge! Don't judge! How time flies huh. :)

Well, sometime back we actually had steamboat together, yes 2 people only and it was so awesome I swear steamboat with little people is the best because you can always reach the boat. Maximum number of people for steamboat should be 6 so that everyone can reach the boat. I just think that being able to reach the boat is the number one most importantly factor to enjoying steamboat. Agree? 

Aiya you people sure say I weird one lor but if you think more you'll understand how I feel. ANYWAY, this is the first time I eat steamboat with this very interesting sauce like you can dip the crabstick into the sauce and eat one. I have no idea what is it cause Z bought it. If you got chance to eat boat with me then I'll introduce it to you hahaha. I've been eating steamboat with soy sauce and cut chilli for my entire life so that was definitely something new. It was really nice so yumyum! :)

Oh yeah the food was too much for us to finish, so we end up lile eating buffet like that the tummy gonna burst already still must continue to chiong and stuff. Actually everything pour half packet out already enough. Except for the veggie, I ate the whole what do you call that, the whole thing. Not enough one lor. I like to boil it until very long then after that put soy sauce and chilli wah damn shiok.

But we're really healthy people we don't just eat okay, we got go exercise one, like pulau ubin lor! Nah proof! We walked all the way to the wetlands only to find out that it's high tide so cannot see anything at all omg hahaha, I fail as a geog student lah. But we did see mudskippers though and fish. :3

We walked all the way there by foot okay, it was damn tiring, definitely riding bicycle there. But the walk there was hilarious cause Z kept freaking out at random objects and I was freaking scared of the boar and dragonflies. But we were smart to hitch a ride back to the jetty there, so on the way back we actually stopped by this really beautiful place below.

The photo does not do justice to the beauty of that landscape. The water is just so gorgeous and the trees are so pretty and the whole place is just wonderful and the air is so good, omg. It's just really awesome that such places still exist you know although it's not really in Singapore itself but still, it belongs to us. Hopefully no one will ever ever destroy this.

Oh yeah, I did something really wild to my hair! I dyed it red! Like finally. To me it wasn't very siao, but for a first color is was hahaha, despite all that, I freaking love it. So I went home with this hair and kena scolding. My mum went on about how ugly the hair color was and how harmful the dye was to my hair. Then she ask me next day go dye it black again. Yes folks, that's why my hair looks dyed but it's still quite black. It's okay ya know, I had that hair for like one day, and I took some shitty pictures.

When I go UK I sure go back to this siao color one lor, cause when it fades away it gives you a very very nice brown too so it's like getting 2 colors. But maybe next time when I dye it would be just highlights cause it's really damaging to your hair. Now I have to use conditioner every single time I wash my hair. Is it cause I dyed it twice in less than 24 hours? Oh blah, who cares. ;)

Z brought me to this place for our 1st Anniversary dinner, it's located at Bishan Park there. The whole setting of that place is very peaceful and romantic and the food there also not bad. Just that a bit pricey. But for special occasions, it's worth every dollar. (Btw there's something moving behind me now I'm freaking scared cause it's 2am so I hope it's my stupid fat lizard if not I'm so dead)

This is the crab linguine. Super yummy. 10/10 I might go back just to eat it again.

This is Z's. The display not very good but the chicken not bad ley. ;)

We went there when there was still light so we can actually see while we ate, cause when the night falls it's quite dark cause it's suppose to be romantic and also it has a joint bar. But we feel that if you cannot see anything while you eat also a bit meh. Depends lah, if you like to dine in the dark then you go about 8 like that lor confirm no light one. Got this artificial flame though but cannot see anything. It's all down to personal preference.

Look at our watches hahaha.

Look at Andy and Z being uncooperative  I keep saying look leh look leh. But they look everywhere besides into my camera. SEE WHAT YOU GET FOR DISOBEYING ME? UNGLAM PICTURES.

 Went to bugis street to see walk look, then Z saw the pink color thing very cute so he bought it for me hahaha! He said it looks good on me. Actually I think so too, just a bit AA and my mum says it looks like some anime cafe girl wear one. I don't know what she talking about it. But I think like still can pull this look off, yes no yes no?

Visited Paulaner, ERMAIGAWD THE BEER IS DAMN GOOD.

This place is call Monster Curry somewhere in ION I think. The curry was not very monsterish but the plate is. It's freaking big you see the picture, big not? Big also no use everything else in the plate is like standard size. Not bad ah this small restaurant, food is good and not very expensive also for restaurants in ION.

That's all the updates for now I guess. I still have so many pictures about so many things happening around me cause my life so interesting plus I need to stop procrastinating and get a job but the lazy bug in me always takes over. Blame it on the lazy bug~

Life's good, really good.

能不能回到从前？

People have told me to just forget it, just let it go, just pretend everything never happened. I've come to the point where I still think of you now and then but I'm too tired to even talk about you. I've reached a stage where I can no longer tell anyone about how I feel about you because I have told everyone possible and they are probably by now tired of hearing me say the same things over and over and over again.

But how can I just pretend you never existed when you were once my best friend, and irreplaceable. Although we were sort of in a clique, we had the most in common, we even shared the same surname damn it. You were not perfect, nobody is, but you could make me laugh and we shared so many memories as a duo and as a clique. We did so many stupid things together as teenagers and we grew up together. Others may be able to forget, but I know I'll always remember you. If I could turn time back, I would never have allowed a msn conversation to destroy what we all shared, even if sometimes we really buay tahan.

I wonder how you're doing now. Are you happy now? What course are you doing now? How are your new friends? I wanna talk to you, I want to see if you've changed. There were many times I nearly text him to ask about you, but I figured it would be awkward and he would most probably tell you about it so it was to me, in all sense inappropriate. And you probably hate me so I told myself to just forget it. In fact, I nearly did it just a few seconds ago, for the nth time. And it kills me every single time I have delete the unsent text.

I wish God would tell me what I can do.

Deep down, I really miss you.

This is a slow journey, but not an impossible one.

Olah! Waiting for my perspiration to tone down a little from the running, hehehe. Haven felt so proud of myself in a while already. Those around me would know that recently I've been trying to change my lifestyle, in terms of eating and working out again. I'm happy to say that I've already lost 4kg so far, and I will continue to lose weight, until I reach my goal. I'm tired of being fat, and I wanna prove them wrong. This time I'm not stopping until I reach my goal.

Whenever I'm working out, there are times when I feel like giving up because the burn and sore are really crazy and I can literally feel those tears welling up. Whenever I feel all these, I would stare straight into the wall and the voices of people who have rejected me because of my physical appearance started to ring in my head. The pictures of those who laughed at me from young to now, everything is concentrated in that white wall. And that pushed me through some of my toughest workouts.

But today things were a little different. The negative voices and images still come up when I'm at my breaking point, but when I pushed past it, the encouraging words from my friends, my boyfriend and tumblr started to come to me. It's amazing because it made everything so much easier. My feet were definitely in a lot of pain (because I'm flat-footed) and I couldn't catch my breath anymore. It wasn't me who kept myself running, it wasn't all those negative stuff. Rather it's the voices of people who love and encourage me that kept me going. And if any of you are reading this, thank you all so much. I love all of you. :')

I know this will happen in every workout I do in future. I will do you people proud, I promise! :)

One step closer.

This is the best new year I've had so far, and I believe next year would be more awesome. So almost everyone was drunk/high last night and just an hour ago I was looking at one of the videos I took, and I was laughing my ass off. I guess we can only act this way around people we're really comfortable with.

The night was rather short I guess. But it's not the quantity, it's really about the quality. First, we went to wala wala cafe & bar for dinner and I ordered this linguine marinara. I am not kidding their serving for pasta is incredibly hugeeeee. Now I know why they distribute sharing plates for everyone. All of us had a drink and a shot, called illusion or something. Then we went to meet wenyi who as usual got scolded for being late and in the end she treated us to ice-cream which is by the way, still in Z's fridge. Went back to Z's house and had a hell of a night, heh. :)

Was rather reluctant to leave though but everyone was so worn out and tired. So after breakfast we all went home to sleep, hehehe. :)

School's starting tomorrow and I'm not so looking forward to it, hopefully I'll get past this month fast!

The beginning.

2012 went by so freaking fast, in less than 24 hours we'll all be welcoming a new year. So excited and yet so scared at the same time, but more of the excited part. Excited because I have so many goals and resolutions for the new year, scared because I have no idea what surprises the new year have for me!

okay mood spoilt because suddenly everyone is finding fault with me. what is wrong with me am i that a failure that everything i do is wrong? i don't understand. bye.

So, I was saying, new year. So many things are gonna change this year.and I'm sure I'll be on this blog whining about how much I hate those changes blah blah blah, and hopefully I'll get to post about successful weight loss. :) I've been trying to do so it for years, and I hope in this coming year I can finally said "I did it."

2012 has been eventful, inspiring, sad sometimes and filled with love. I've lost loved ones, I've made new friends, I lost my temper over stupid things, made so many mistakes, but most importantly I learnt to love those that I've always been loving, deeper. I've come to know who are my real friends, who still cares (even if it's subtle), and learnt a little more about myself.

-to be continued cause I'm tired-