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Sunday, August 26, 2012

Need a break.

I can't wait for the holidays to come. Finally rid of all the no-sleep studying and eating so much at night just to keep myself awake. Sigh. Time to do something about my excess fats too after the exams. We'll see if the famous horribly lazy yiyun would actually move her ass.

For her boyfriend.

Anyways, while I was bored studying balance sheet and crap, I went onto tumblr and do what I always do -- Search for random stuff. Anyways, today's word was "fat" (yes, it's under the influence of typing this post.) Last time was floral hence my background. So, I was shocked by the number of post with girls as thin as a stick calling themselves fat. Girls, you don't know what fat is. If you're able to wear demin shorts and not have fats overflowing out, you are not fat. Sigh.


I've heard this countless of times from countless people, be it overhearing it or them telling me face to face. Yeah, I know it myself. I have the right curves and everything YES I'LL BE SMOKING HOT, if I'm skinny. But I'm not, not yet so TOO BAD LAH.


But I understand where all that negativity is coming from. Because my dear ladies, we don't live in this kinda world where guys would look at us this way. *points to the picture above* Sadly, they would always ALWAYS be more attracted to the right sizes (6 and below).


If you're 8 and above then you look like this *points to picture above* IT'S SAD I KNOW, but it's the cold harsh truth. But every cloud has a silver lining!

1. You get more blubberly warm compared to stick girls. 
(doesn't apply for me)
2. We make real friends who stays forever. 
(I have many pretty, sexy, skinny friends who clubs all day long, have tonnes of friends but they are still so lonely.)
3. We have so much larger boobs as compared to other girls.
4. We're generally more happy.
5. We are more able to sympathize and empathize with people whom are going through self-esteem problems. 
6. True love comes to us. 
(Unless he has a really weird fetish, then he love you for who your are inside and not what you are outside)

See, there's still so much to be positive about. I'm a size 8 for bandage skirts and dresses, size 10/12 for buttoned skirts, size 18 and above for demin shorts (still can't find any that fits). But I've wonderful friends whom I know are here to stay forever. They've stuck with me through thick and thin, through the immature times, the happy moments and the saddest periods of my life. They've been bombed with so much of my bullshit but I know they won't be going anywhere. :) Sometimes I'm just so thankful I was like that.

And don't let anyone tell you if you're not the right size, you won't find the right love. Because I've found mine, I believe every single plus size girl can find theirs. Sometimes we really should just let go of those who seem too far to reach, who seem so unreal and start to embrace those closest to you. Who accepted you no matter what you looked like, who's willing to be there for you and to make sacrifices just for you. 

One day you'll find someone who's dying to marry you, who cuddles you in bed just because you asked for it, who tickles you just to hear you laugh, who hugs you close to his chest when you're upset, who wipes your tears away, who calls you silly girl, who have bed fights with you and ungentlemanly wins them all the time, who laughs at your clumsiness and bimbo-ness, who puts up with your every month mood swings. Someone who calls you beautiful on your worst days, who annoys the hell out of you then make you happy again. Yes, men like that still exist. It took me 6 years to get it all figured out, but it's better late than never.

Hey...


Those are like the sexiest butt dimples ever. ;)

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Catch up time!

Haven been blogging what I've been doing lately, because I've been doing NOTHING. Well, except for studying, eating, sleeping, mapling yeah that's about it. And I have no pictures to post! D: The best thing that happened so far was the "family" BBQ that mom held on the 19th at the hometeamNS there. Didn't invite too many people as I know I sure tio pangseh by many, and I was right.

Oh wells. Sorry to WMY & LWY for not inviting you girls cause I know it's the exam period. >.< But all is well as at least yihan and Z turned up. :3

Yihan arrived like an hour plus earlier than Z so we got our "girl" catch up time. Hahaha, I totally forgot how alike and different the both of us are and the way we think is just so damn funny that we ended up laughing like siaoginnas in the room. Can't wait to hear more from her, and you don't know how pleased I am to know that her life is getting more and more interesting everyday as compared to her "dark times". Missed that girl so much because we're always too busy for each other but I'm glad we caught up heehee. (:

I can't wait for internship to start because it's prolly the only time when I won't have to face exams and projects. Can't wait for the stupid FYP to be over so that I don't feel so burdened too. D: ANYWAYS. That girl only stayed for a while and went for her Selamat Hari Raya in her Selamat Hari Raya white dress.

So it's just me, Z and the family and extended family. To be honest, I was really surprised how Z bonded with my younger brother and his friend (is it a guy thing?) because he told me he felt really awkward when I left him alone with my brother the previous time. I was really relieved when they started to play cards and badminton together. :') I didn't even mind standing in front of the hot hot hot BBQ pit cooking meat for the 3 of them pigging out in the room.

Another reason why I just stood in front of the pit was because if I didn't I would be upstairs hiding, or sitting awkwardly with the families. Meh, I'm just really really really awkward with them. Like I'm scared I'll say something wrong and they'll condemn me for the rest of my life. But I had fun anyways because xenia was there to do stupid stuff with me hahaha.

The best part of this BBQ was that Z stayed over hahahahahahahaha, okay shut up. He actually wanted to go home because there were not really enough beds but he stayed anyways because I figured something out. :3


Everything felt so snuggly warm because he was sleeping beside me (he radiates heat) and we had a good laugh at my brother who dug his nose while he was asleep.

The next day we finally went to the hometeamNS sports sales because my brother went there to buy a pair of new slippers and we were trying to find him but ended up doing our own shopping so we didn't actually find my brother but who cares. The swim wear and sport gears were all super cheap, prolly even lower than warehouse prices and it was so attractive that the lazy piggy Z decided to go back in the evening to get his swimming stuff. So being the awesome girlfriend, I accompanied him back there.

He bought this dry bag (below) to bring to swim because it's waterproof and can sling over his shoulder or something. And the color is like bright bright lime green and it looks really cool and stuff and it's a real steal because it's branded and the quality is excellent and it's only $25, saving around like $10 to $15 dollars I guess?


He also bought a pair of goggles at $12 and a pair of trunks/racer at $12, both from recognized swim gear suppliers. I still think he should have brought terry and andy along to buy trunks too because it's like 3 for $10 you know? But he gave me the WTF face so I assume it's not a very good idea?

Wanted to get a new swimsuit because mine is extremely loose and their's are so so so pretty and style omg halter style my love! But on second thought, after all the weight I've gained maybe it'll fit just nice now hahaha, wait till I finally hit the waters again and see some result then I'll reward myself. ;)

Nua-ed at Z's house for the whole day today, well not the whole day because I slept till super late. And yes I still continued to nua when I went over to Z's. Did manage to get some studying done over there so still not bad hahaha. Zmom came home suddenly with dinner, and since Z didn't tell her I was there so she only bought dinner for two and she didn't even eat the pau she bought. Sigh. :( I guess I got to eat some authentic China dishes and some yummy soup made by Zmom using VERY INTERESTING WAYS. I swear my eyes popped when she threw the tomato and garlic into the blender.


Yes like this.

THAT'S NOT THE POINT. Anyways, Zmom said she's gonna teach me how to make her really yummy jiaozi that Z's always rambling to me about but I never GOT TO TASTE IT. I. Nearly. Spit. Out. All. My. Food. When. I. Heard. That. So I was smiling uncontrollably to myself I don't even know why either. Maybe it's because Z always tell me that when I marry him I'll have to learn how to make JZ from Zmom but now Zmom is gonna teach me before I even wear the ring.


AND TELL ME I'M NOT READING TOO MUCH INTO THIS, after Zmom said the next time she makes JZ I can learn from her and Z said can wait for doughnuts to have time and we'll do it together and Zmom paused for a moment and said "It's okay, we can make JZ even before they have time." OMG MY HEART DIED FROM I HAVE NO IDEA. EMOTIONS? Does it mean that she really likes me? ^^


Heh, I hope so! ^_______^

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Sudden epiphany.

Is jealous a sign of insecurity of yourself or?

For me, I guess it's just me, myself and I. Before I was attached and all, I always tell my friends "I won't be bothered if my boyfriend cheats on me. Because if he can cheat on me with that bitch, he can always cheat on that bitch with that slut." and "So what if he looks at others, at the end of the day he's still my boyfriend what!" But hahaha, believe me, I no longer can think that way rationally anymore.

I have no idea what's with me, but I'm always worried that I'll lose to another lady. ANY LADY. I'm just an average girl here, blur, clumsy, dense, stupid, slow, emotional. And not everybody can tolerate all my nonsense because I'm one big bag full of them. I used to be "Accept me and my crap, or you can roll away.". Now I'm like "Omg, what if one day Z decides that he can't tolerate any of my nonsense anymore and decides to go to someone else with lesser nonsense than me."

Everytime Z shows interest in a girl, be it a passer by, some girl from the past or when just casually mentioning her, I'll get super nervous. MAYBE IT'S JUST ME LAH HORH. Obsessive and possessive insane girlfriend. I'll scan her from top to bottom, then decide if she's a threat. After a few months of doing so, I kinda notice what kind of women attracts him and since women takes notice of women faster than men do, ohwells. But unfortunately, I'm nothing like them. So, live with it boyfriend.

Don't get me wrong. Z is perfect. He's like perfect for me. Even with the little flaws he have, WE ALL HAVE, I can never find another guy more perfect than him. It has been hard on him, dealing with this obsessive and possessive insane girlfriend of his.

But ah, I think it's okay to be jealous ah. If you not jealous when your boyfriend or girlfriend look at other girls or guys means got something wrong liao. Means you don't give a damn sia, or maybe you really super duper rational. But then again, in love, nothing is rational. TRUST ME PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT IN LOVE. Nothing nothing, NOTHING is ever 100% logical and rational in love. So means you just don't give a damn.

If you never had to cry because of him, because he made you mad, because he made you sad, because his words hurt you so bad, you don't love him at all.

我不知道我在说什么了。钻牛角尖一大堆。拜拜。


Saw this and went all soft and squishy inside. :') 

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Pretty pretty.

Nearly died when I saw these!



Heh, feeling so much happier now.

I wanna dye.

I have always wanted to dye/highlight my hair red but then ley, my family is like those super conservative type. Like if you have dyed hair means you're a bad influence. Wtf, putting colors onto your hair DOES NOT influence you to rob people or kill. RIGHT?!

Recently I have been trying to pluck up the courage to ask even when I know that the answer ain't gonna be in my favour. But if I just dye without warning, they are gonna faint on the spot. I don't even wanna think about how the relatives on my mum's side would react. They would probably go crazy and think that I work for the loadsharks or something. Sigh.

Considering that they had a really bad reaction to my 4 piercings on my left ear and 2 on my right, I don't even wanna imagine how they would react if I step into a family gathering having red hair. Because no one has colored hair in that family, o.o Yeahhhhh. Everyone is just so lawful and stuff.

Ugh.

Monday, August 13, 2012

I'm lucky I found my perfect guy.

"He's not perfect. You aren't either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn't going to quote poetry, he's not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don't hurt him, don't change him, and don't expect more than he can give. Don't analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he's not there. Love hard when there's love to be had. Because perfect guys don't exist, but there's always one guy that is perfect for you."

- Bob Marley

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Someday I'll be.

Side tracking from my books because it's so damn boring! Who wants to learn about all the hazards! Plus, my nose and throat are determined to make me have a hard time to force me to bed.

August have been rather kind to me so far, not taking being sick into consideration, life has been rather smooth for me. Despite all those skipping of lectures & tutorials blah blah blah I'm not barred from the semester exams and I still have friends helping me with all the clues and stuff. Hehe luckygirl93.

August means a lot to me, like dropping tennis forever unless it's recreational. I never thought competitive tennis was MY THING to begin with. I wonder what triggered me to go for team selections in the first place. Never had the fight to win and be number one in that sport. I just like watching tennis and hitting yellow furry balls for fun. So yeah, after numerous arguments with Z, I've given in and decided that I will not play for next year's POL-ITE. I shall just disappear like how Elizabeth did. :3 This year's POL-ITE was crap, shitty and shitty. Although I won games, I didn't manage to play all of it with full concentration and perform to the best of my abilities. Oh wells, it's over already. Never have to go through that again.

Oh, I stopped giving tuition too. After like 2 years, I finally realized that it was so tiring to travel to Serangoon and back. With the new addition of the hougang girls, I could die. I COULD HAVE DIED. But I didn't. So, rejoice! ~ Yeah, so there goes teaching, there goes extra money. T.T But hooray for more time with my loved ones, and more sleep as well! *grins*

I did another thing that would probably blow myself up if it was still the me one year back. I actually allowed Z to play maple again and he's allowed to buy cash on terms and conditions. And I have let him break the rule once so, WHAT'S THE POINT OF HAVING T&Cs IN THE FIRST PLACE. The worse thing is, I'm playing the game together with him. Well, they say "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.". I'm just picking up from the wise. *YODA* But it doesn't feel like me playing the game because my bro, Z, Andy and Terry are the people that are actually sponning my character and making it more presentable. But still, IT'S FUN.

Ohgawd, I just remembered that I have IP! Although it's not as taxing as I thought it would be but omg omg omg. We're so unprepared and everything. I know that we've to submit our first draft on the fifth week but I didn't wanna sound like some obsessed anal bitch so I didn't say anything. :x Surprisingly, cher forgot about it too so phew.

So this august, I gotta survive the semester test first before I do anything else! I gotta meet up with my crazy bimbotic girlfriend huyihan, hopefully get to meet MYWY, and send hweeneng & timo off to US and ShangHai and of course, spend time with my family and the doughnuts (like now is not enough). 

Having mixed feelings about September though. The thought of spending half that month without Z is enough to kill me inside already. But on the other hand, I'll have plenty of time for my neglected friends like maybe-I-shouldn't-name-names and we can go do our girl stuff omg omg omg. But I'm so dependent on Z I'm dying right now thinking about it. :( Okay shut up yiyun.

不知道 nuhs! 走一步算一步 bah! Please let me get through August safely and smoothly first.

No, I wasn't intending to publish this post without pictures. :3

I still can't get over how bored this monkeyorangutangorilla looks!

We always do stupid stuff. Together.

I love you so much. 

P.S I miss that necklace. ;)