习惯成自然

You know, I'm perfectly fine with it.

You played me again and again like a toy.
Finally when I'm broken you toss me back into the toy box.

& you picked another doll. With a prettier dress, softer hair, smoother skin.

Once in a while you'll look back into the toy box
and maybe take a few glances at this broken doll.

Then, you slam shut the lid. Air-tight.

At first, it was hard to breathe.
At first, it was too dark to see.
At first, I thought that... I thought.

Betrayal.


I can't put myself in your shoes.
How can you hold a doll you only feel "responsibility" for?

Betrayal.

Your jar of hearts.

I have no idea what to blog about.
No pictures. No topic in mind. Nothing.

ANYWAY.
I'm gonna put aside some money from the water week to my camera fund.
I'm like penniless after shopping with meiying today. :x
Not forgetting having to spend the extra money on a new bag.
Because. Mine. Broke. Okay fine it snapped.

Was intending to start work at 10pm, but thanks to a red furry cat called claire,
here I am typing this, hoping 11pm would come soon.

& nope, meiying is not replying my text. Think she ate too much icing.

Okay, bye. (:

Genuinely fake.

I’m a pretty messed up bitch while typing this. People untangle their knots of screwupnism as they grow older, as they grow wiser. But for me, I’m a magnet of bitchy dramas no matter what age I am at. I’m always getting into trouble with guys. They all show up at the wrong time. It’s okay if they show up one at a time, at least I have time to stab them one by one. They show up in bunch, I need a few dozen hands for that.  And apparently I don’t, so in conclusion, I’m pretty screwed up. No, wait. Make that fucking screwed up.

The most head-splitting fact about them is that they are all very nice and they don’t actually have any ill intentions so, I’m being a bitch whether I give them attention or not. Well I’m being a bitch already just blogging about this but hey, being a bitch has its plus points. At least I no need to pretend to be real. A bitch has gotta do what a bitch gotta do. And hey to people that actually have opinion regarding my language, “bitch” no longer means “female dog” in the 21^st century. Maybe my command of English is really poor or something but I can’t find a new meaning to the “bitch” of the 21^st century.

Okay okay, I got one… How about, “a female that pisses people of somehow, sometimes, somewhere with something that she do/say”. How does that sound? Cool with you? What? No? Then screw it. I’m really cool with it. Icy cool.

There’s one particular ex I am fed up with. He just keeps hounding me. For years. Although I have already made it clear that he belongs to a part of my life I’ll never wish to remember. Maybe he doesn’t understand English or something. He just keeps texting me. I don’t understand how he can stand it when I don’t reply his texts for months.  Anyway, he’s unworthy of my attention. (Such great irony to that sentence as I have already spent like one paragraph ranting about him) The rest, they are just really nice and awesome people. (The irony just grew fatter)

But I’m lucky to have really awesome friends, like, unwavering friends no matter where I go. Yes, although some have already turned into dormant friendships, at least, they were awesome when we were still close. At least, we promised to be there if we ever need each other. For those that are still alive and annoying, I thank you all of you for staying. Because I’m not close to my family, my friends have always been the most essential group of awesomeness in my life. I love them more than anything else. (:

Actually I have already concluded my post in the first paragraph. The rest of these are just thoughts that keeps flowing and I had to type it down. Sorry if I wasted your time.

Chill people, life goes on.